The Deepest and Darkest secret that I have in 2 days before Christmas!

The Opening
Sincerely saying, I put up my mind to end thinking about things like “LOVE” and “RELATIONSHIP” that can never do good to myself and I must tell you that if you haven’t experienced it yet, you should not dare to try it especially when you are not ready to have commitments and responsibilities and everything about it.
Christmas makes me feel being complete, feeling every good things that I want to feel, removing the past aches that I had felt and had experienced. My heart is overflowing with happiness and contentment. There are a lot of ways to be happy and I am very happy to think of spending my time with the whole family; my cousins, my aunts, my uncles, and my grandmother, not to mention my mother who, I’m used living without her, is always not around. I should not be affected without her presence because she’s not when I’m not with her and she has her own family to spend the Christmas with. I’m jealous, yes I am. But I should not ask for more, I should be contented, and I am, for the happiness that I am feeling right now. I can’t have all the good things in life, good memories and good people because it is my fate, my destiny that’s always been set for me.
On the other hand, I am excited about what will happen tomorrow, the Christmas eve. Because we are going to have a Christmas party at Precious’ house, for those who don’t know her she’s my cousin, and I, together with Justine, Pretty, Vev, and Cat2 have bought presents for our manito or manita awhile ago, though Cat2 and Vev aren’t included, still they had gone with us laughing and enjoying every second of our little bonding.
I am indulging every picture that I can remember because this is the first time that we are going to celebrate Christmas together, a whole family affair that should not be wrongly missed.
I can even remember how we had kept the first “deepest and darkest secret” that’ll be revealed during the exchanging of gifts. But I’m going to tell you what. I, Justine and Pretty had bought the same gift at Gaisano Mall. We were confusingly thinking of what gift to buy and whom to give it. I was talking and talking, spitting out my funny but insulting jokes, when, Justine saw a pack of towel neatly folded inside its transparent box-shaped container. She rushed to it immediately with a glimpse of smile in her round face. The transparent box-shaped container with towel neatly folded inside is only 89pesos. Since we don’t know who to give presents to, the three of us decided to buy that item, laughing. After we bought it, we cursed each other, praying that we won’t pick each other’s gifts. I and pretty had decided to give each other a present and since we know that we’ll be receiving presents from each other, she asked me to buy her favorite scent which is Penshoppe’s BoyDatesGirl perfume. Ofcourse I told pretty to buy me my favorite scent also, Bench’s Atlantis.
To be honest, I didn’t plan to buy Justine a present….but, one of our “deepest and darkest secret” that must not be revealed had occurred. I believe no one would tell so why not post it in my blog… We were at Saver’s Square to buy some gift wrappers and I bought the largest party popper there (because I remembered my momy chelou bought party poppers during the Unfolding of the Literary Folio so I bought one) when suddenly, Justine slipped a top-priced perfume on her hands, scattering the debris on the floor. I was shocked, preparing myself for anything that’ll happen next because I forgot that Saver Square is selling the lowest priced items all over ozamiz city. Vev broke the silence, I don’t know if he was joking or not, and said “you broke a 99peso perfume!” ‘Twas funny, we all smiled, controlled ourselves for laughing. Justine slipped her last 100peso bill out from his pocket and paid the cashier. Hesitant? Yes, I guess she was… that’s why I bought her Bench’s Pure Play perfume…at least she wont spoil her Christmas thinking about her remaining 100peso bill.

Another thing, my own thing
After I bought Justine’s gift, I went outside the store and approached Cat2 immediately. I was hungry at that moment but not too eager to go inside McDonalds, so I decided to stroll inside the grocery store. I asked her she wants to eat, but she didn’t say a word, I wanted to have those little ube cubes because that’s my all time favorite aside from nagaraya but she insisted to have pure peanuts…..and…..a liquor, a Red Horse can… I bought 2 cans and a bunch of peanuts…we talked about to where we are going and decided to stay at Cotta Shrine...same old place…we gulped the liquor but didn’t get drunk. I finished half of it coz my throat can’t swallow it anymore. “im nearly spitting”, I thought to myself. I ate the spicy peanuts, lots of it, and vanished the foul taste the liquor had.
We talked about our matter which I didn’t expect to bring up. She wanted to have me back… I was happy that she said that, but in some ways I don’t want to have her back yet, and I don’t even know if I’d like to. After all the complications that I had experienced and all the chances that I had given, I don’t think that I can accept her back in my life. I am so tired of quarrelling the same old thing over and over again. I am so messed up with someone who doesn’t even defend me.
The talk had gone without hesitations. I didn’t regret, though you may call me as the “rudest person on earth”. I won’t bother because I was just protecting myself from the hurt that I’ll experience whenever I am with her. And if she did love me, she shouldn’t have done the things that I don’t want to, right?