my official pseudonym

Hoe Huw....(hoo-haw)
my official pseudonym!
ahahha
i encoded a simple cipher out from my name and.....i made HOE HUW..
im doing research about that thing..and i hope i can find one..

Early task

Today is Christmas. But i cant spell it because as usual, ozamiz city is soo gloomy, so quite and peaceful? i guess so. I'm still at pretty's house this time since last night. I woke up around 6:30am and i'm surprised by myself coz i managed to wake up early though i slept at 3:30am...
Anyways, i swept the garage when my aunt called me to go to Tangub...alone...
It was too early for a new adventure, but i, without thinking twice, made my way to tangub city. I rode a Commuter that consists of 15 people and 4 children with an infant. 'twas great, i missed the times that i was going to and fro every weekends. Tangub is my birthplace and ozamiz is my hometown. I am
so I brought slices of cake and lechon for my mother and her siblings... i saw, ofcourse, my chubby sister...she was not chubby the last time i checked her.., but now, she is....or am i just hallucinating...
there i was, found myself talking to old companions that somehow made me proud of myself... im not bragging but, they said that i'm like rico blanco of rivermaya..or a chinese guy..white and skinny... =( but 'twas nice hearing those comments from old companions...
well im here now, back to pretty's place..writing my blogs over and over again.

Christmas Party with the Family

I am sitting here, beside the large speakers of my aunt's house,Pretty's place to be specific.
i am listening to the jumbled music of David Cook's Always be my Baby and y8's game. We have just finished exchanging of gifts and i am quite happy coz i got a small handbag from my manito/manita, a cellphone pouch or whatever you call this from my kuya jimboy and a perfume from pretty. This is the happiest christmas i ever had. though the surrounding isnt as noisy and bright as before, it's worth it. i feel the essence of Christmas. I feel that Christmas is an event that should not be missed by the family. the spirit is always there when you are with the whole family. I tried not to think of being someone else but whatever i did, it's just so hard... so hard to leave this kind of family... with bond and memories....

Happy Holidays specially to famished families

I haven’t felt the essence of Christmas these past few days. Days were like ordinary, watching people stroll around the city, malls and parks, waiting for nothing, not even a show of goodness from someone else. The spark had lost in so many reasons. The spirit that had been uplifting me had gone away. Is it because our house lacks of Christmas lights and decors or is it because of me being out-of-the-mood to celebrate such occasion? I would be very sorry for myself if I’d be out-of-the-mood to celebrate this wonderful season.
Millions of people have been waiting every year to celebrate Christmas. For them, celebrating the season means everything for their family because it is not just eating with delicious and mouthwatering foods set in the table but it is for the family to gather once more. It is also the time to give and the time to show to other people the pure goodness that had been hiding deep inside their hearts, to show appreciation and love to whom they had never given it.
Though Christmas tells everything for Filipinos, there are still people who are weary, doubtful, or even worse, never have any reasons to celebrate it. Why? Poverty tells everything. Deficiency never ends, it struck more to people who have nothing but a bunch of undressed children or famished brothers and sisters. How many families who’ll celebrate their Christmas without anything set in the table? How many children loiter around the streets asking for foods during Christmas Eve? Whenever I go inside Cotta or around the place, children come and approach me to ask for a single coin in my pocket. I give them heartedly whenever I bring some. But most of the times children ask for foods that I am eating other than a single coin that can buy them enough for themselves. It struck my heart honestly. It gives me a dilemma that I can hardly recover. My heart belongs to them. My mind can’t stop thinking about their unfortunate situation. If only I can do something other than giving them 1peso, I should have done it. They don’t deserve to have a spoiled Christmas! Everyone deserves something for them to celebrate their own Christmas. Why is the earth so unfair?
We are so much lucky to celebrate Christmas with enough foods in the table. So happy to celebrate it with our family complete. Though I came from wrecked and broken parents and adapted by my aunt, I can’t ask for more…because other people don’t have anything yet they are happy, others don’t have some yet they are contented.
I learned a lesson through them. That is to have a stable job or better yet, work hard to achieve the path where a good, fertile future lies.

The Deepest and Darkest secret that I have in 2 days before Christmas!

The Opening
Sincerely saying, I put up my mind to end thinking about things like “LOVE” and “RELATIONSHIP” that can never do good to myself and I must tell you that if you haven’t experienced it yet, you should not dare to try it especially when you are not ready to have commitments and responsibilities and everything about it.
Christmas makes me feel being complete, feeling every good things that I want to feel, removing the past aches that I had felt and had experienced. My heart is overflowing with happiness and contentment. There are a lot of ways to be happy and I am very happy to think of spending my time with the whole family; my cousins, my aunts, my uncles, and my grandmother, not to mention my mother who, I’m used living without her, is always not around. I should not be affected without her presence because she’s not when I’m not with her and she has her own family to spend the Christmas with. I’m jealous, yes I am. But I should not ask for more, I should be contented, and I am, for the happiness that I am feeling right now. I can’t have all the good things in life, good memories and good people because it is my fate, my destiny that’s always been set for me.
On the other hand, I am excited about what will happen tomorrow, the Christmas eve. Because we are going to have a Christmas party at Precious’ house, for those who don’t know her she’s my cousin, and I, together with Justine, Pretty, Vev, and Cat2 have bought presents for our manito or manita awhile ago, though Cat2 and Vev aren’t included, still they had gone with us laughing and enjoying every second of our little bonding.
I am indulging every picture that I can remember because this is the first time that we are going to celebrate Christmas together, a whole family affair that should not be wrongly missed.
I can even remember how we had kept the first “deepest and darkest secret” that’ll be revealed during the exchanging of gifts. But I’m going to tell you what. I, Justine and Pretty had bought the same gift at Gaisano Mall. We were confusingly thinking of what gift to buy and whom to give it. I was talking and talking, spitting out my funny but insulting jokes, when, Justine saw a pack of towel neatly folded inside its transparent box-shaped container. She rushed to it immediately with a glimpse of smile in her round face. The transparent box-shaped container with towel neatly folded inside is only 89pesos. Since we don’t know who to give presents to, the three of us decided to buy that item, laughing. After we bought it, we cursed each other, praying that we won’t pick each other’s gifts. I and pretty had decided to give each other a present and since we know that we’ll be receiving presents from each other, she asked me to buy her favorite scent which is Penshoppe’s BoyDatesGirl perfume. Ofcourse I told pretty to buy me my favorite scent also, Bench’s Atlantis.
To be honest, I didn’t plan to buy Justine a present….but, one of our “deepest and darkest secret” that must not be revealed had occurred. I believe no one would tell so why not post it in my blog… We were at Saver’s Square to buy some gift wrappers and I bought the largest party popper there (because I remembered my momy chelou bought party poppers during the Unfolding of the Literary Folio so I bought one) when suddenly, Justine slipped a top-priced perfume on her hands, scattering the debris on the floor. I was shocked, preparing myself for anything that’ll happen next because I forgot that Saver Square is selling the lowest priced items all over ozamiz city. Vev broke the silence, I don’t know if he was joking or not, and said “you broke a 99peso perfume!” ‘Twas funny, we all smiled, controlled ourselves for laughing. Justine slipped her last 100peso bill out from his pocket and paid the cashier. Hesitant? Yes, I guess she was… that’s why I bought her Bench’s Pure Play perfume…at least she wont spoil her Christmas thinking about her remaining 100peso bill.

Another thing, my own thing
After I bought Justine’s gift, I went outside the store and approached Cat2 immediately. I was hungry at that moment but not too eager to go inside McDonalds, so I decided to stroll inside the grocery store. I asked her she wants to eat, but she didn’t say a word, I wanted to have those little ube cubes because that’s my all time favorite aside from nagaraya but she insisted to have pure peanuts…..and…..a liquor, a Red Horse can… I bought 2 cans and a bunch of peanuts…we talked about to where we are going and decided to stay at Cotta Shrine...same old place…we gulped the liquor but didn’t get drunk. I finished half of it coz my throat can’t swallow it anymore. “im nearly spitting”, I thought to myself. I ate the spicy peanuts, lots of it, and vanished the foul taste the liquor had.
We talked about our matter which I didn’t expect to bring up. She wanted to have me back… I was happy that she said that, but in some ways I don’t want to have her back yet, and I don’t even know if I’d like to. After all the complications that I had experienced and all the chances that I had given, I don’t think that I can accept her back in my life. I am so tired of quarrelling the same old thing over and over again. I am so messed up with someone who doesn’t even defend me.
The talk had gone without hesitations. I didn’t regret, though you may call me as the “rudest person on earth”. I won’t bother because I was just protecting myself from the hurt that I’ll experience whenever I am with her. And if she did love me, she shouldn’t have done the things that I don’t want to, right?

100 things i miss doing!

100 things I miss doing!

I miss……

1. covering the current events at school
2. jotting down the facts that I’ve gathered
3. talking with mommy chelou about her favorite subject (hmmm)
4. talking with friends at the cubicle
5. attending group meetings for monthly topics
6. laughing, sitting and wondering at the cubicle..
7. walking at the lobby with eyes glaring at me
8. being talked about =P
9. texting or sleeping or doodling while my teacher is discussing in front
10. writing topics for the tabloid, cramming ofcourse!
11. climbing the 4 stairways with 9 staircases at the SB building
12. annoying the guard on-duty
13. buying 4 pcs for 20 peso bread at pan de lasalle
14. annoying my PE teacher
15. attending classes late
16. answering oral quiz of the teachers
17. my hrm1 subject
18. walking at the library – just walking to and fro
19. the “posh” table at the cubicle
20. ate yech’s out-of-this-world mood
21. seminars!!!
22. snacks!!!!
23. using 2 to 3 hrs internet access in the library, filling my blogs (ehehehe)
24. swiping my id at the gate
25. interviewing students with frustrating answers =|
26. buying green card
27. the hard computer keyboard at the cubicle
28. hanging inside the messy cubicle, letting the time pass
29. joven’s “question and answer portion”
30. Christmas parties (the first time I haven’t joined any Christmas party)
31. having nice pens from kuya chubby
32. miss bunny’s pep talk
33. wearing my uniforms
34. waiting for the monthly release of the tabloid
35. kuya kurt’s wittiness
36. mirror in the cubicle
37. kuya chubby’s financial reports, accomplishment reports, resolutions, requests, and more paper works!!
38. sitting under the umbrella
39. wandering around the campus
40. the stinky CR’s, where I used to change my school uniform to pe uniform.
41. musics flying inside the cubicle
42. Burgos gate
43. watching movies
44. games…
45. feedbacks and reactions from students
46. kuya jopai’s anime
47. Saturday meetings
48. complaints from my classmates
49. shock faces of my teachers and classmates
50. ate nobie’s scary statements
51. my funny grades (hahaha=] I like it)
52. my 5 colorful notebooks
53. going home late
54. scolded by my aunt
55. bringing P3654.75 in my wallet every month
56. texting while walking
57. being an I-don’t-care little brat
58. center of attention
59. doing favors, my work and etc.
60. making poems
61. life at high school
62. Melvin... (my funny bestfriend)
63. having trips and contests out-of-town
64. writing My Journal notebook…
65. being excuse in the classes at high school.
66. intensive reviews…
67. OCNHS’ filmed camera
68. talking…listening…talking…listening…talking…talking…talking with Stephanie, my ally.
69. crying….
70. being the “blackest sheep” at high school (according to my adviser)
71. to belong to the noisiest and the hardheaded section in high school
72. playing PANGYA!!!!
73. screwing off my Crush Gear toys
74. filling the walls of my room with drawings and posters
75. being a SMART retailer….
76. my twisted life
77. going out with May Rose, Ayeh, and Cat2 (especially last xmas)
78. being punished for being late…
79. pitying myself, trying to be good (was I not?)
80. the towering buildings of cebu
81. may 1, lola’s bday, family gathering, Hannah’s great-comeback
82. sleeping at kuya jimboy’s and pretty’s place, watching movies and discovery channel late…..
83. sleeping late, thinking about how messy my room is
84. getting myself irritated because of girls’ and gays’ plan
85. Harry Potter !!!
86. going to internet cafés
87. living like nobody’s around
88. pushing and pulling myself to someone who doesn’t care…. (ouch! I remember the days.. na na na na na..)
89. going to church every Wednesdays and Sundays
90. listening to OPM
91. being addicted to nothing
92. surprising myself of the things I bought for myself (hmm)
93. watching movies at the Cineplex
94. running in the open field, keeping myself busy
95. buying snacks with a group of friends
96. ice candy
97. my scent
98. being an RCY
99. being a trained fire volunteer
100. I miss every good and memorable thing that had happened in my life…

when nature turns away from me

Sitting in the couch, listening to the rain dropping above the roof, I feel the icy air touching my body. My spirit is intact. My mind is frozen. My body is iced up. Everything is at ease. Outside my sanctuary is wet.

The sunlight sneaks in at my window, moving from one place to another every second, awaking everything. The dusky clouds that had invaded the sky have gone, replaced by nothing else but the strong, alive and joyful sun.

Everything is now bright; shining and twinkling. The remaining droplets of water in the ground make the sunlight spread its dazzling yellow light around the environment. The mountain sets its beautiful green façade. The sky paints rainbow in the horizon. Flowers bloom in yellow, pink and white. The trees are merrily swinging its branches, letting the leaves fall to the ground. The panoramic view never lies, never hides that woes are timid in this kind of setting.

But the Christmas season pushes me to be mentally absent. I don’t know why but I am trying hard to reminisce the past for me to have any ideas to be merry. My tired entries never astonish everyone because I am not having any sense but a bunch of emotional nuts. At this moment I tried to smile, I tried to be awake or be helpful…but I cant. In so many ways I have felt that the sun have turned its light away from me, the flowers have kept its scent, the trees bent away to uncover me, and the rain have gone to other place and never will fall in my spot.

I am lonely. The worthy people had gone out of my life. Leaving me pain and disgust, pity of myself and disappointed. There’s always got to be something left behind for me to smile… and that something is always a part of my life. I don’t understand what I am feeling because I don’t understand how myself works. I’m unimaginative. Washed out buy the uncouth people whom I lived with and poured my empty heart nothing but a liquid of poison that’s killing me softly.

Here I am, nothing but holding myself to the happiest memories in my life. Those were the only ways that somehow would make me happy, made me contented. I draw my sword and ends up the fight to survive. I am doing nothing but picking up my shield, receiving attacks from the enemies. I accept that nature turns away from me because I am nothing… nothing but more than a parasite…a leech by no sense… but I know, I know that nature will come back…back to where I am right now…back to where I am coldly sitting to pour me with their blissful power of light, scent, rain and shelter.

Deficiency of Opportunities

I made my time worthwhile by reading different blogs and articles about jobs and opportunities of different kinds of people. I understood, indeed, that everyone is craving for a job that can enhance their skills, the profession that they've been studying for 4 years or 5 years or even for 10 years.

I learned that there are rivalries between schools, experiences and status. But one horrid thing that I have well-read is about the lacking of opportunities for young people, young graduates, and young strugglers worldwide.

The blog of The Editorialiste which is entitled “Diary Of An Unemployed Young Journalist: An Open Letter To Entry-Level Journalism Jobs Everywhere” tells that looking for jobs are hard, too hard even if he got a bachelor’s degree in journalism and even got himself a master’s degree in that field, but still couldn’t get a job. He had been a freelance writer and got himself $400 check twice a month. It’s undependable, with his status at a socially capable people in New York, $400 check is no good for him. He challenged himself in everything, made more than what he did, learned new things for a new skill, but still can’t find one. Every time he searched for jobs overqualified for his skills, the only open are for “senior editor” or “deputy page editor.”

Knee-shaking isn’t it? If a good and overqualified person cant apply for a job, how much more for people who haven’t had finished his degree? How much more for people like me, who have had a little skill and had stopped studying?

I for one will belong to the people that’ll suffer in poverty, lack of wealth for myself, and a burden to the government. It is not my choice to belong with them, never my will to be one of the burdens of the government. If only there are lots of jobs and opportunities available for someone like me, I won’t bother myself of being a burden to everyone.

Everyone is hard working if they love their job. Everyone can do better or even excellent if they are inspired to do things that made them inspired. Everyone can, if opportunities are like falling leaves that’s waiting to be picked.

the start of my Merriest Christmas

The call of the day had brought me to exhaustion and boredom. I’ve been staying home for 3 months now and I felt like a chicken being roasted inside the oven. I want to cool-down from being roasted. I want to set free from the heated oven.

My cousin attended their prom night from 4pm-9pm, at Quality Beach Resort. My aunt and uncle had gone with her because it’s too far from our flat. I, together with the house maid and my grandmother, was left. My mind couldn’t think of anything to do aside from going out the house and loiter around the Cotta Shrine. I don’t know why, but my heart wants me to get there even though my body doesn’t want to.

I then walked at the shrine, thought of things much but didn’t know exactly what I was thinking. I was confused, yet continued thinking of fuzzy things. I walked and walked, looking at the people wearing the uniform I had once worn.

The Christmas lights hang and set everywhere made my eyes twinkle and my spirit lifted. Now, this place is the romantic place in town, because of the yellow-lighted background. I crossed the brick ground, raised my head and saw a familiar figure; a tall, clumsy girl walking towards my direction. I was delighted, it’s my friend Mahalia! After her was the lovely figure of a girl that I am longing to see, that I missed the most, my mommy Chelou! She swung my arms again and again, hold it tight. I was very happy, I smiled, I had nothing to do, I lost my words. Tita Dandie was with them too, I haven’t seen him for 3 months and I guess his taller than he was before…

Everything seemed so warm, so comfortable, though the place was crowded with unknown species. Ate mommy chelou and I talked, she talked a lot, and I miss her talking. I’m glad she did. She told me things about her favorite topic (which is very exciting and controversial), how things are going between the two of them and how she had “moved on.” Though she always, always says that she doesn’t want to talk about it anymore, the truth is she always, always does. =) there’s a constant spark and excitement if she’ll talk about that. Her eyes glitter like Christmas lights twinkling at the background. Her laughter made me laugh. Her smile is fantastic that I could even dream of it. She’s always lovely as ever and it makes me miss her more.

I could sense that this Christmas will be the merriest Christmas that I’d ever had. Knowing that I have a mommy like her and a friend like them, I could not ask for more but a time to spend it with them.

Breathless

December 10, 2008 –

I woke up at 10 in the morning, felt the exhaustion from last night’s commotion and confrontation. I went outside my room, strolled directly at the living room and decided to eat at the kitchen. I walked with my head down, fighting the drowsiness that had made my eyes close every moment. I raised my head an instant, fixed my eyes at a straight angle and saw a breath taking figure in the floor. It was her lying on the floor of the kitchen. I was distressed seeing the unusual picture in my bare eyes but decided to remain calm. I moved closer as fast as I could and saw her black soft hair dumped in her face. I couldn’t see what she looks like. Her silver nails rested beautifully on the floor, caught my eyes with wonder. From her façade, you can notice directly that her strength had vanished away. I touched her face and move sideward, calling her name at the same time. “Good heavens, she’s breathing,” I thought. I called her name for the last time and she moved to respond. “She’s alright.” I murmured. I held her arms and helped her stand. Carried her to the living room, to the couch, I let her sleep. One thing is for sure, she’s drunk.

Hours of waiting had passed, nothing had been unusual except of course seeing her sleeping drunk. The moment she had gained her strength back, she transferred outside the living room and laid her back on the couch set therein. I moved closer and hoped for a conversation. My heart pumped hard as we talked. I was nearly breathless as she pours her reasons out. Her tears made me listen attentively and thought of ways to do. But I can’t think of any ways to subside her feelings because the reason for all of it was none other than me.

It was I who was the reason of her craziness. She skipped classes, drunk herself to unconsciousness, hoping that the hurt she felt will vanish after she’ll awake. I felt sorry for her and for myself. I have done nothing but to save myself from the hurt that she had been giving. I can’t bare her foolishness because she had been doing things for herself, forgetting me and how would I feel about. I was mulling over those things again and again, and now I have finally decided not to be with her any more. Those memories will leave as it was. It is her will to end this way anyway, if she doesn’t want to, she should’ve made everything right beforehand.

This is never easy to do. I have been with her for a year, used to do things with her and hang out. This would be better for the both of us. And as long as I can make my life blissful without her, I won’t wait. I won’t open my heart for another affair that’ll make my heart weary at the end. I had leaved her to make her life better but hang myself breathless in the open.

ni hao da jai

i was tempted by the presence of my grandmother..she, lacks of things that can make you happy, is here and i dont know why. it's either she missed us or...to eat!

It's a long run

I'm listening to Mayday parade's song which is "if you wanted a song written" while i am writing this entry and found this picture from my flash drive.....

this is my shirt...with the La Salle print on it and my new book, and an album of secondhand serenade..hehe.
i remembered sereveral things that i, for so many days, have forgotten to post....

I'd like to thank kuya chubby for everything...

Reading

High Courage
By Rosemary Weir

A classic story of a twelve-year old heir of the Travers royal family in England, Richard Travers shows high courage in the middle of battle between the honors of King William and the foreigner Simon de Montfort, who bid to change the constitution of England to Parliamentary.
The story started with the high-paced action when the hostile forces of Baron Banworth, in the name of Simon de Montfort, attacked the Castle of Travers and fell to their hands. Richard’s father, the Earl of Travers, have not found dead, alive or captured by the enemies’ forces, leaving Richard a mystery for him to discover.
As soon as the castle turned to Baron’s ruling, the Earl then gone back to his famous castle, the Barnworth’s Castle, together with Richard as the prisoner of war. Richard felt different, homesick of Lady Travers, her mother who happened to bore a little girl days before the war had started. He became a page, a noble child who follows every command of a lady until the right time comes that he’ll go back to their own castle, to the Barnworth’s and learned to hold his temper against Lady Barnworth and her son, Louis. He found a friend in the presence of Sir Hugo, Baron’s Knight, and Alys, Baron’s nephew.
Richard had known that his father is alive and had escaped to the forest by using the secret passage of the tomb beside the chapel, trough his loyal minstrel, Odo. He can not wait for his time to go out from Barnworth’s castle and planned to escape together with Alys with the help of Crispin, whose loyalty is for the King. Alys and Richard pretended to be peasants and helpers of Crispin for them to go out from the Castle. They had successfully gone out from the Castle and head their way walking ten miles to the forest. At the middle of the forest set a coal hut with the Earl of Travers, his father and Sir George who took care of the Earl.
Once settled in the hut with Richard, Earl of Travers, George, Alys and Crispin, they finally made a plan to gain back their own castle. The Earl sent Richard and George to Sir Peter, the godfather of Richard, to ask for help to attack the guards of Baron in Travers’ Castle by surprise at night. Sir Peter agreed to the Earl’s plan after Richard told him his tale and prepared his men to attack at midnight using the small passage that the Earl used for escape.
Sir Peter had gained victory. The Castle now turned back to the rightful Earl. Though crippled and can’t walk, remained humble every time. At night, they celebrated reunion. Everybody misses everyone. The thunder breaks the night sky and released the rain from the clouds, sweeping all terrors left and renewing the castle once again. The noise of the hurried feet of the horse overcomes the tiny clatter of the rain and a man from outside pushed the door of the Great Hall where the Earl, the Lady, Richard, Alys, and officials were merrily talking. It was the messenger. He reported to everyone that foreigner Simon de Montfort had died, as well as Baron Barnworth in a battle. He announced also that the King William had gained minor wounds and Prince Edward had reigned in the battle. Peace then is bright to England.




Walk My Way
By Paige Dixon

Kit LeBlanc is a fourteen year old, nearly six foot, broad shouldered girl who lives her life miserable after her mother died. His father hurt always hurt him due to alcohol. She worked at Joe’s Bar after her classes and played basketball at school, but got fired due to clumsiness. She has a good voice for Hollywood but never hopes for it. She planned to exile to her Aunt Lee at Maine, her mother’s best friend who loved her dearly, but can’t find anytime to escape because of her father.
She can’t find courage to sneak out of their house until one evening while her father, together with his friend Mort, came home drunk. She heard her father went straight to his room and dead sleep, but Mort knocked the door of her room, asking her to make her a coffee. At first she refused, but Mort was so noisy that she cant bare him anymore but to accept his request. She’s not afraid of Mort though. When she opened the door, Mort rudely asked for a kiss and moved his head closer to Kit’s, but before he can touch his lips to Kit’s, she hold his chin and kick him hard away from her. She is strong. And she noticed that Mort didn’t move and he became pale, blood ticks from his head. Kit noticed that his head hit the radiator. She then hurriedly pack her things, get her kayak and moved to the other side of the lake. She already fixed her mind to go to her Aunt Lee’s place to seek for comfort and security incase Mort died. She knew she would travel fifty miles through the woods, for her to get to her Aunt without getting caught by the cops. On her way she found a dog, a Basenji dog which she didn’t recognize until she found a good hunter miles away from her place.
Her journey was tough, exhausted, hungry and sleepless nights. It’s good that she found a dog on her way to talk to. She found a little town, as big as a village, and bought ten pieces of hamburger and a dog food for her dog which she named him Lucky. The owner of the restaurant pleaded Kit for her help because her maid had gone out without any words despite the fact that the old lady is suffering a high blood pressure and offered Kit top pay. Kit was determined in her job until she heard in the radio broadcast that her dog had been a lost-and-found dog with reward to whoever sees her. But kit loves Lucky very much and got troubled on the greedy fat boy who wants the reward. She felt awful to leave the old lady alone, but the old lady wanted Kit to be safe and the dog to be hers, so she gave Kit more money and foods and let her get away.
She is back to the woods again, found shelter through the pine tree at night and under the rock when it rains. One day she found two people; a boy named Jody and his grandfather, walking to the same direction she will. They made good friends, so good that she treated them as a family. Jody’s grandfather is too weary and old. He sits on the cart and pulled by Kit. He is determined that Jody must arrive to his aunt and he entrusted Kit for Jody because he felt that he can’t make it to Maine.
Days after Jody’s grandfather died in heart attack while walking on their way. Kit and Jody cried for his lost. He was a good man, kind heart and loves his grandson very much. Kit is determined to take care of Jody, and she promised to his grandfather… They arrived at Aunt Lee’s place and kept Jody for days until she called Jody’s aunt if she still wants Jody to be with her. Upon hearing Jody’s aunt excited, she can do nothing but to give Jody to her aunt. Her father called to ask Kit to go back but she refused and she almost jump to happiness knowing that Mort isn’t dead after all.

Odd to think about

I can’t believe in my eyes that two lonely people became a one happy couple. It’s a matter of time, though, to realize how people ended up together; getting to know each other, desperately trying hard to work-out a relationship as boyfriends and girlfriends, living as one after a happy matrimonial ceremony and ended as happy a mothers and fathers to their child. I could barely wake from that dream, when in fact life is very hard to struggle, very hard to live with. How could two people ended up united and happy, when all of their lives they’d been struggling to stay alive? It made me wonder suddenly. It made my mind flew. It made me realize that everything is worth many things.
Night shaft is tantalizing, while I wonder with humor about simple things in life. Simple things that are so hard to get over. For instance, how could a person blame someone of hurting her/him when in fact it is her/him’s choice to fall in love or to be with someone. Isn’t that makes sense? Everything you do is your choice. Everything you utter is your will. So, everything won’t matter if you won’t choice or get acquainted with someone! It is then your fault of being hurt, being fooled by someone you’ve trusted most. It is never ever wrong to be a loner. It is never ever wrong to be an island. It is never wrong to live just yourself, if you’re setting yourself from hurt and pain, if you are too lame to get hurt, insults and harsh treatments from others.
The clouds are now covered with grey sky, cold wind rushing from east, indeed twilight is here. Apart of being sluggish and restless, I have a mind and a façade of a useless wizard, ragged, untidy and skinny like I’ve never had the happiest moment of my life. Sounds weird though I am attractive, as what they told me, weird the way I dressed-up. Is it because my dresses are dirty? Or an old fashioned one? But whatever my dresses looked like to others, I don’t just care. It is another odd thing to think about…that people will judge the way you dress, ignoring the good things that you’ve done to others. How many people left in the world with an organized mind? Organized as in thinking about the good things to do without minding other people’s status in life. Boastful people are around. Odd to think that they’ve been boasting all their life, knowing that they have difficulties or imperfections as well as others.
Blimely, everything in the world’s going odder, isn’t it?

I wont change at all

i am drowning myself, hoping to be stronger...

I sometimes woke up every morning with the loud scream of my aunt, desperate and irritated, voice's complaining.
If only I have the chance to change to the way she wants me to, i would have done it long time ago, but the truth is, i am what i am...and i do what i think would make me happy.
I am alone, living like a pariah on the corner of the street, desperate to catch anybody's attention. I sometimes talk all by myself, because no one would ever want to hear me talk..or to listen to my words...but everything wouldnt matter if i would sit in the corner talk to myself and be at my own world....my own happy world....

The best things that i Have

I am listening to Secondhand Serenade’s album, A Twist in My Story, I really love secondhand serenade….the songs are very nice, soft and emotional. It gives a great impact to my emotional and mental side… like a hook that gets my spirit out of my body and a sword that pricks my heart until blood soaks... Kuya Chubby bought the CD for me and I’m very happy that he gave it to me. He made me happy these days and I’m glad to have him in my life=) I feel like I have a worth in this life, that I am not as bad as what I think I am. My life, is what I hate most, because of what I have, my family and status right now, it made me quit life. But I thanked Kuya Chubby most, because he’s always there, ready for anything and everything for the sake of friendship. I hope he will always stay. Even though my life is a mess and horrible.

Get into the words!
I am excited to read the new book that Kuya Chubby bought for me entitled, Who Killed Tiffany Jones by Mavis Kaye. I cant remember when I started to like spending times with novels, but I love books very much, specially the book that kuya chubby bought, because it made me feel like I am a part of it and every nice things to happen, I feel somehow happy. It made me forget all my problems in life (though I didn’t take problems as problems=D) and I’ll find a refuge in the book.

Love the melody.
I love listening to music…. I have 1,678 songs in the PC and I love them all. I treasure them because I felt that the story of my life is the same as the lyrics, the tune and the melody. My life is full of music. I don’t want to consider myself as one of the EMO people but somehow, I am emotional. I find that music suites my lifestyle. i get to love it, because it’s there, waiting to be listened and admired, and I’m just the right one to love them.

My own words, oh my own scribble.
The first thing that I am going to do before I sleep is scribble my note and write something on it. I love writing and I’m very glad that I have Livejournal with me. I love to write, because I can be what I want to be and feel different things on it. It’s like being free from the world around and free from the commands of everyone.

Classes have started and i am here, same place, at home...doing nothing but killing my own time=(

Living Like a "merry-go-round"

I am living like a “merry-go-round”, doing the same things again and again. Turning around and around like life never gets tired of it. The cycle never excites me. It made me weary and tired of it. It’s the whole damn thing that I could ever experience. I am never merry. The “Holy Creature” would have given me much of the new things in the Earth. I felt that my body’s numb and unable to move to which way to go and which path to take. I’m living like a “merry-go-round”.

I have been absurd yet I take everything for real.
I don’t wish to have more than what I have been asking for. But at least I may get the thing that I have been longing to have and do things that I am happy to do. I am like inside a prison for so long and I felt like I want to fly and be free…live to support my needs and have my wants. Live not because of what others like me to do but because of what I want to do. Of all the things that I have done, only I, myself appreciate what I have done. Everything is worthless in their eyes.

My life gets more and more dull.
I now know what lies ahead for the coming six month of my life. I would be doomed to stay inside the bars of uncertainty where I would be idled and pricked myself with the harsh words of annoyance of my presence. It’s hard to live my life and my life is difficult. I am like a loner in the world. No one understands the way I do things and the way I understand it. People hurt me most. Though I don’t care about them, I tend to be hurt when they move like I don’t belong to their lives. I was intimidated and I will always be. The woe of their presence is ghastly unaffectionate. They made me treat them like a foe in a long battle. They made me the worst. But I won’t be defeated. I will never be defeated. As long as I am so alive in the world like a “merry-go-round”. In the world like a “merry-go-round”, where the only passenger is I, myself…

No one’s there in my side.
It’s been an unfortunate experience of my life. I am extremely exhausted by others who are unimpressed by what I am doing. It’s a shame for me. a waste of efforts that I have pondered. I was good and now I felt like a damp. Nobody said I was excellent, nobody would even care that I was once excellent. For them I am horrible. A rock that they have to carry with their life. I’m becoming crazier, unfaithfully outgrown by others.

I’m becoming unfair, the truth is…
Everything I said was addressed only to my family. To my family which they think I am happy, which they think I am not hurt, which they themselves don’t know who I really am. It hurts me much, they hurt me to the utmost. If only my heart would explode, it would have been. I’d like to scream at the top of my voice and burst my eyes into blood-colored tears. I never did right to them. I am filled with their weary eyes and intended words. I don’t have my mother and my father as well… but would it be right to get insults from where I am right now, the fact that I’ve been living in them for 17 years already? I’ve been scolded and it’s all so normal to me. I do understand that I can’t expect much from them. Because I am just a scornful nephew who did nothing but to put a heavy weight in their waists. I want to die, to let them feel that I am no where to be found already and to let them feel lost; to let them weep and regret. I’d bring the heaviest weight in their life. I’d be happy if I die. But I’ll wait until that time, the time where I will leave the life of “merry-go-round”. For now, I’ll make myself the best of the best and never will I surrender to be one. I wont let them down me on completely. I will leave in this place and have fun of my life….until they’ll realize… that I am not as horrible as they think I am. But one thing’s for sure…It’s hard to be alone in the world like “merry-go-round” but I’d rather be alone than be with someone who’ll hurt me most.

Christmas On Display at Tangub City (My Personal Experience)

December 1, 2008 - My day started with a lovely cool holiday. Today is a National Holiday in the remembrance of the Philippine hero, Andres Bonifacio. He died at November 31 but the government moved it to the nearest Monday, so today is holiday. The cool relaxing wind has awakened me from a deep sleep. I was then settled myself to eat, conscious of my surroundings. I walked to the living room and saw my cousin smiling. “Something’s up,” I murmured. As I seated on the couch, she immediately told me that we are going to witness the opening of the Christmas Symbols in Tangub City. “It’s worth a smile,” I thought.

It had been 2 years that we haven’t seen the huge arks full of Christmas lights, decors and other Christmas symbols. Though our hometown is Tangub City and sometimes we’ve spent the Holy Week and other family gatherings there, we still missed the event in Christmas. And today, we can’t afford to lose the fabulous moment anymore. Tangub City is a nearby city from Ozamiz City, where my aunts are settled in, just 20-30 minutes of travel.

I was having fun texting using my mobile phone, as I was currently registered to SMART’s two days unlimited text. I was texting my friends and I’ve noticed that their main priority is to go to Tangub City tonight to witness the opening too. They asked me if I am going too, almost all of my friends asked and excited about it, like it was more than a celebration that must not be missed. “This is going to be fun”, I said to myself.

After lunch is a whole bunch of preparation for me. I’ve got a lot of things to do in my mind; like what I am going to wear, because my dresses are not so many and I want to make myself appealing to others, specially to my friends because they’ve been seeing me always. I took a bath after collecting my thoughts back in my mind. I planned to be different today. I picked my cute checkered brown-and-white polo, yellow-green shirt with Chinese printing on it and a white short pants paired with a brown printed Banana Peel slippers. I put some local made gel on my hair and worried of the effect and covered my body with the odor I like. I’m quite amazed of myself, I didn’t expect that I can change my dress style to whatsoever they call this thing. I don’t mind of what other people would think so long as I changed to a nice more fashionate stuff.

The whole thing is for me to look good and better than I ever was. And so I was.

Before going to Tangub, I spent myself hanging at my girl’s house, waiting for the time to pass by because my cousin told me that we are going to Tangub at 7 pm tonight. It is exciting, another memory to store in my mind as well as to my blogs.

At 7:50 PM my aunt who has an orange multi-cab, fetched us. But before having a joy ride, we were looking for the missing house keys that have been missing for so many days now, and because of it, our house helper was forced to be left alone. I felt sorry for her but the blame was on me! I felt bad but the excitement drowned the bad feeling away.

I was very surprised while we were on the way because there were many people in the waiting area, urgely waiting for Commuter, a car for hire to transport passengers from Ozamiz to Tangub, and was desperate to ride first. It was funny because even if the car didn’t park yet, people hopped in to get a seat first. Too many people, which I even thought the Catholic Church in front of the waiting area was having a mass, but there was no mass at all. The Commuter car was then over loaded of passengers. The once dark road was filled with headlights, roaring engines of the cars and motorbikes and motorcycles. The people from Ozamiz were like evacuating to Tangub. A funny thing that I have every thought of.

We arrived at Tangub City Park around 8:30 and we were looking for a space to park the car and the motorbike of my cousin, a year older than me. Because we parked on the bridge higher than the park, I saw sooooo many people around. I couldn’t believe that I could see a crowd so large….so many people wanted to witness the event. And with it I could say that the event was, the Grand Opening of the Christmas Symbol.

I couldn’t even indulge the beauty of the arks around because it was diminished by different kinds of people from different kinds of places. I was almost chocking. I was with my two girl cousins, Justine and Pretty, who were looking for their long acquainted friend, Nikki, but never found her. We settled ourselves standing in front of the City gym and I found my friends from Tingog, a campus press organization that I was in at La Salle University-Ozamiz. I missed them a lot and I found out that they were here since noon to gather facts to feature this event and be printed in the December issue of their magazine. I’m excited to ask for a copy, and I wished to contribute something in the December issue too. =(

Around 9:30 in the evening, while I was loitering around, the mayor of the city, Jennifer W. Tan, announced a countdown to formally open the Christmas Symbol…from ten to one…….the sky then turned colorful with the magical sparks of the fireworks..... I thought it was the simplest form of fireworks, like I always saw in the horizon of Ozamiz, at first it was, but the longer they spark in the sky, the nicest colors comes out!! A 10 minute firework show made me say, SPLENDID! Not because it’s long, but it’s the nicest thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life, as I was expecting it would.

People from nearby places and cities are already making Tangub City as a part of their annual celebration to Christmas, a nice spot to unwind and feel the spirit of the season. I always want to make articles about how nice this place is, for our campus paper at LSU, but now that I am not there anymore, I’m still glad because my fellow journalist will feature the City by its beauty.