Fiction:

Dreams are Reality

Rain fell hard last night. But my room was stinky – the smell of my sweat filled the room’s empty space. I opened my eyes, stared at the window. It was still dark. I reached my phone and blinked at the brightness of the screen.

4am.

I realised I woke up from a dream I couldn’t remember. But I had a feeling, a strong feeling that it was a bad dream. I couldn’t go back to sleep. My heart was racing frantically. I couldn’t breathe properly. I stood up from the bed, went straight to the kitchenette, ransacked the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water. The water was soothing. It touched my heart, untied my lungs, and I felt okay. I breathed in.

I tried to remember what happened last night but I couldn’t make out anything. My head ached all of a sudden. My mouth tasted alcohol I couldn’t recognise. I realised I was drunk and I thought I passed out. I started to think about what happened a few hours back…

Then it struck me. I wasn’t dreaming…

I came from a funeral.

I had a family. We were happy.

I had a lovely wife, lovelier than a flower. Her face was as perfect as a picturesque of a green mountain lying under the blue sky. I also had a 6 year-old beautiful daughter. She was so young. She was fragile. She was a little princess. We had a home. It was simple yet modern, cool and inviting. It stood on a hill. We could see everything under the horizon – the city lights at night, the fog early in the morning, the sun at dawn, the twilight, and the stars and the moon. My home was my life. My wife and my daughter were everything to me. Living another day was surviving the pain and I could not endure the pain. No more…

I walked to the balcony where we usually stargaze at night, or relax in the morning. The sunlight was slowly crawling in the horizon. Or was I just dreaming? Memories came back to me like a flashlight turning on and off frantically. Memories broke my heart in a million pieces. My mind was blowing. I couldn’t live another day.

I jumped off from the balcony.

I felt the cold air pierced my skin.

I heard a strong thud on the ground. I felt it.

I was lying on the ground now. I saw my own blood.

Then my hurt stopped…

Now I’m finally waiting for my wife and my daughter.

2012: An Update :D

It has been two years since I wrote something on this blog... I wanted to delete the entries I made but memories are hard to wipe out off of my life no matter how hard it had been to me. ~.~

Everything happened. Lots happened and I just have to take them all in like a mature person. I will take everything in and remember things like it happened for a reason...

So now this blog site is private and I dont care if people will see my previous entries. Go ahead and judge me. I dont care. I'm the same as everyone else - I breath, I eat, I drink, and most of all, I am having fun. 

I'm not scared anymore. Life is what I make it. This is my life in discreet. I am opening it to everyone who stops by this blog. 

  

An Entry About You

I said I'd call back, but I hadn't. I failed.

But then, I can not afford to fail you twice today. I promised you two things: to write an entry about you, and say lots of I love yous. And I wont fail you this time...

Brace yourself - but I dont really know what to write about except:

It's not quite a shocker for me to fall in love with you a lot. I know, I know you doubt me about this matter, but this is what my heart feels. I love everything about you. The way you take care of me is hilarious - no words can describe how it makes me crazy.

Without you, this life would be a plain rough life - nobody to talk to, quarrel about, and play with. I dont mean I am playing your love... but what I mean is you are, as I quote you saying, an 'all-in-one package' - you're a brother, a bestfriend, a playmate, a confider, and hopefully a lifetime partner. I could never find another you in my life... Say, maybe I could, but not you...which is rubbish...thinking about it just made me cry and break my heart...

I am neither being poetic here, nor applying the flowery words I learn as a stumbling writer... I am being honest to myself, and to you Pao.

I know I've been a pain in the ass but you know how much love I have for you to forget the pain and move forward (which I do hope so). We've conquered lots of problems, we've proven much both to ourselves what we can do for each other. I know I haven't proven myself much in that matter, but you just have to think about one thing in black and white: I love you very much. If you are not satisfied with that, I guess I can not do anything about that...

Forgive me & believe me as I say:

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

I LOVE YOU PAO

P.S. Dont break my heart... or i'll break yours. kidding