Scattered Sheets [Awaken by Surprise]

>CONFUSED BETWEEN LIVEJOURNAL AND BLOGGER<

Tonight things have been so dreadful. I can't concentrate. I cant sleep. I feel so alone. I cant even breath. Sounds so lame and gay, but i dont care. This is what i fucking feel. Please help. My heart is pounding hard, it's beating so fast yet so slow... I don't want to be alone. And I feel so wasted knowing that I don't have someone to talk to. I've been drunk for the whole week, and I'm used to go with true people, especially Paolo. It's like going out with a girl, though I have to keep a distance away because he is actually not a girl. (I meant no offense) If he was a girl, and if I were somebody else, I would have like taken him seriously. He's bubly and all. And am happy that am his friend. Melvin was bubly as well which basically means bubly people do like me, or the other way around.

But honestly, after what happened last night in the city hall, I dont think I'll still join the drinking society of Paolo. Because he has his group of friends and I don't feel like I fit in plus PW relayed something his friends said. So uh, that was fine but I have to like move away...?

Tonight my brain is unstoppable. Two hours ago Tingog pipz went to the wake of our dearest friend.  And I dont know what to do with this. My brain is thinking about him. The very reason why I dont want to see someone  lying inside the box. But because I liked him and he's been a part of my life, and that I idolized him, I had to look at him and say my farewell... I dont have regrets though. I'll overcome this phobia in time. In goodness' time.

Tonight myself and I have this weird and wired arguments: Why am i posting an entry here?! I'm not supposed to write an entry like this. Wry, so i kind of did it anyway. This entry's supposed to be posted in Lj.

I DONT MIND ANYTHING AT ALL.

~NA NA NA~